Blog Post 17: Revised paragraph

In Monday's class, we worked on three skills:

1. writing in the active voice 
2. avoiding nominalization 
3. writing coherent paragraphs in which the subject of the sentences matches the topic of the paragraph

Post a sample paragraph from your QRG, before and after revising according to the rules listed above. Explain your changes, and why the revised paragraph is an improvement in clarity and coherence.

Other online resources:

• https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/635/1/
• https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/600/01/
• http://twp.duke.edu/uploads/media_items/clarity-conciseness.original.pdf